Squirrels attack!

Reports of squirrel attacks seem to be on the rise in the past few days. Catherine clued me into one, although details were sketchy at first, it appears a Florida state trooper, a 3 year old child, a day care worker, and a construction worker were all attacked before the beast (assuming it was just one, and not several as originally believed) was finally captured and put down.

And now it appears a power outage affecting 3200 homes and businesses in Vermont is the fault of a single kamikaze squirrel. This reminded me of a few years ago, when we (Penney's, and a good chunk of Burton) lost power due to a squirrel attacking the substation across the street. The perpetrator was pictured on the front page of the Journal the next day, still dangling, crispy and charred, from the wire he sabotaged. While it is easy to think these attacks are random, it appears they are building up to a larger attack. Don't say I didn't warn you.

It appears I am not the only one to be warning others of the iminent dangers we face from the forces of the squirrel terrorists. Although the picture is clearly a photoshop (Giant mutant squirrels are actually only about half that size), the article offers some good advice for protection during the impending attacks. Although he is concerned that frying pans are not a good weapon when compared to projectile weapons, keep in mind that squirrels outnumber us by, conservatively, three to one. I figure they have a couple options for their attack strategy - attack everyone in the country at once, averaging 3 squirrels for person, having the advantage of surprise, or move from one area to another, attacking in massive hordes, more like 100+ for each person. But either way, since they have plenty of backup, prepare to lose a lot of ammo, so unless you're some kind of nut that has enough in your basement to supply a small country, you may want to keep some other weapons on hand for when ammunition becomes scarce, and I would think frying pans, Louisville sluggers, and/or katanas would be fine choices.