and these are only the attacks that have been attributed to squirrels. what about the ones where the squirrels cleverly framed other animals...like bears.
i think i would pick a good wide frying pan or if they made wood or metal woofa ball bats. i am not that good of a hitter with something like a baseball bat, but with a frying pan you have a really big sweet spot.
however, if they were coming at me 100 on 1, i would want a tennis racket. a frying pan would be too heavy. if 100 squirrels come to attack your home and you know ahead of time, surround your home with not quite empty yogurt containers. the kind that are more narrow at the top. squirrels can't resist them, nor can they get their little heads out of them.
Excellent plan! I think we should write to our congressmen and request government assistance. The Pentagon should immediately implement a proposal to surround every home and place of business in America with thousands of not-quite-empty yogurt containers with narrow tops. This is vital to national security, more so than terrorism, because these determined creatures will stop at nothing. They lurk in our trees, they roam freely in our yards and parks, and no one even knows the exact number of them or when or where they will strike next.
The bad thing about a frying pan is that it only reaches a foot or so past your arm, where as a louisville slugger reaches almost 3 feet past it. I'm not sure I feel comfortable allowing these horribly vicious squirrels that close to me. I'm not sure about a tennis racket either, cause that probably won't take them out permanently. At best it may stun them, allowing them to regroup for a second attack, possibly with reinforcements. But if you're stuck and that's all you have left to use to defend yourself, do it, and anything else you need to do to remove these vile beasts from our land.
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