evil man eating squirrels

On a friend's blog I theorized that bears do not in fact eat people, but it is the squirrels that do. As time went on, I found more and more information that supports this claim, and what was part of my own blog soon began to take on a life of its own. so here it is, from the beginning...

Today I read that it was recently discovered that squirrels have a secret weapon - a superheated tail. Well, maybe not superheated, but at least hotter than you would expect a squirrel tail to be. I think that soon we will find that not only do they eat tourists, but that they roast them over their tails and have a nice human-steak cooked to their tastes.

I'm sure you're laughing now, as you probably did when I warned you of the sharp increase in the reported number of velociraptor attacks. But someday, when you are faced with a gang of squirrels with fedoras and tommy guns and 1929 Buicks, you will remember - their tail is the secret weapon. Disable it, and you may yet survive.

You're still screwed if you're attacked by a velociraptor.